How To Throw A Dinner Party

We've officially warmed up the house; she's been broken in, in a grand fashion.  The idea was that we would throw one big party to begin with and invite absolutely everyone we know.  After that we could throw small dinner parties-where people can talk on a more intimate level, host house concerts, or hold how-to sessions-on terrarium construction or wood workshops.  Now at least all the people we know have at least seen each other, if not actually spoken yet; the familiarity has begun.

I've got a plans for a Dinner & A Song event coming up; 12 guests will dine on a lovely dinner and then enjoy a small concert that lasts 30 minutes or more, depending on how people feel.  I want to have the dinner party be a time for networking as well and since I've never thrown a dinner party where not everyone was previously friendly, I've been doing some research on how to make things run smoothly.  Here is some of the good advice I've come across so far:

On Seating Arrangements: 

It is usually a mistake to invite great talkers together. Brilliant men and women who love to talk want hearers, not rivals. Very silent people should be sandwiched between good talkers, or at least voluble talkers. Silly people should never be put anywhere near learned ones, nor the dull near the clever, unless the dull one is a young and pretty woman with a talent for listening, and the clever, a man with an admiration for beauty, and a love for talking. 

Most people think two brilliant people should be put together. Often they should, but with discretion. If both are voluble or nervous or “temperamental,” you may create a situation like putting two operatic sopranos in the same part and expecting them to sing together. 

~ Emily Post 

Arranging your seating is just one way to do this, but it's one thing I like to pay close attention to. I try, for instance, to always seat myself across from or next to the person I think will be quietest or most left out so I can pay attention and draw her out. People who I know will have no problem carrying a conversation are usually seated a little further down the table, and so on.

~the Kitchn

On Selecting The Menu:

Having people over to dinner is a normal part of life. I've been trying to just say, in my books, the key really is simplicity. Everyone always tries to do too much. You have to design a simple meal you're capable of making, and that's doable. And not try to do something that's impossible to do.

~Chez Panisse Chef David Tanis

On Guest Lists:

The best dinner parties are the ones where 60 to 70 percent of the guests are established friends, and the rest are new blood. 

~Ted Allen

Upon Guest Arrival:

Have drinks and snacks ready when guests arrive. This one is key. As long as everyone has something to sip, and something to nibble on, they are fine hanging out in the living room while I put the finishing touches on the meal. Lucky for me, we have an open kitchen that faces the living room, so I can still be part of the party while I'm cooking. And your hors d'oeuvres don't need to be elaborate -- I usually put out some good olives, a couple of cheeses, and crackers. Or a good homemade dip (like white bean hummus) and flatbread. Keep it simple!

~Anna Watson Carl