A friend sent me a link to an article by a Miss Kara Banderbijl on
This Recording, entitled
How To Be An Anthro Girl. As most of my friends and I will hesitantly admit, we are all enamoured with Anthropologie. And yes, we all "probably spent more within their four walls than necessary." So this little humor piece bites right down into me and my friends' Anthro-loving souls and makes me chuckle.
* Be wealthy, but not the kind of wealthy that makes anybody feel bad.
Rather, just chuckle softly whenever you mention your latest trip to
Europe or the top of the Empire State Building. “Oh, we rode camels out
to Petra,” is the phrase most often uttered at the end of your summer
vacations. You justify long periods of inactivity on white-sanded
beaches by making sure they took place in third world countries, and you
donate a dollar or so to whatever charity is currently advertising on
Tumblr.
* Be a ‘natural’ woman. Nothing about you is put on;
nothing about you is askance. You are at all times completely genuine
and completely within your element (earth or water). You respond to
crises by lighting a candle, by fingering plush towels. Plucking is out
of the question. You crochet on demand, but only in penumbra.
* Never match. Yellow shoes are always acceptable. Plain black? Never.
* Never be in a picture with a man, ever. You roam
alone, from room to room, lit golden by the chandeliers in your lacy
nightgown. Your wallpaper is peeling at the corners near the ceiling.
You like the culture it creates. Another living being would upset the
balance, put the brightly colored throws in disarray.
Italized text by Kara Banderbijl in How To Be An Anthro Girl.
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